I am announcing my candidacy to be Emperor of Canada.

I promise to be a benevolent emperor that ensures everyone has water, food, and shelter.

I will not allow the absolute power to corrupt me absolutely as it has done to so many before.

Instead, I will surround myself with trusted advisors who are not afraid to say “no, that’s a stupid idea.”

Should I ever get the urge to put billionaire polluters extravagant desires over the needs of those working on the frontlines, my advisors will give me a verbal (or even physical) kick in the ass to say “no, that’s a stupid idea.”

Should I be suckered into an emotionally charged deluge of social issues that somehow get lumped into essential issues like infrastructure or lowering taxes or finding efficiencies in the public sector, my advisors will verbally (or even physically) slap me in the back of the head.

You see, it’s well past time in this nation for an Emperor to come forth and be the guiding light for all the people from all walks of life.

An Emperor open to diversity of thought, doing what’s right for all Canadians (or at least the vast majority – a la a true democracy).

Someone to say, live your life as you see fit, as long as you are not hurting anyone else.

Someone to say, your personal feelings are not as important as good jobs, clean food and water, and shelter for all of our people.

Someone to say, religion is only as good as the person interpreting (or misinterpreting) the teachings, and thus it shouldn’t be a guide for political decisions.

Someone to say, you have to have some semblance of critical thinking to be allowed to have an opinion on any topic.

Someone to say, if you’ve been brainwashed into thinking everything you believe is right and anyone who disagrees with you is wrong, you shouldn’t be allowed to procreate.

Someone to say, I respect and support responsible gun owners and those who eat what they hunt, but I will create harsh and unforgiving laws for those who purposefully use weapons to harm others and who hunt for trophies.

Someone who believes everyone is entitled to a quality education (all the way through post-secondary studies) that encourages free and independent thinking without political agendas, cult-like religions, and ideology influencing the students.

Someone who does away with ever little topic being politicized beyond reproach.

We need that type of Emperor to bring intelligent thinking that combines logic and emotion, sense with commonality, and an intolerance towards intentional ignorance.

That Emperor is yours truly! So on April 28, 2025 – write in Chris O for Emperor on all your federal election ballots and let’s get this done!

Or maybe check the date and have wonderful April Fool’s!

Ciao for Now!